Bettlejuice Beetlejuice sept 11
My dad and his buddy Doug had this running joke they would use when the wives were nearby. "Tramp's Breakfast this morning, Doug. Really? Wha'd ya have? A piss and look around", he would answer. They'd laugh like four-year-olds while their wives scrambled (see how I did that?) to detail what they had cooked and served that morning. It just never got old. I'm up every night for a couple of hours reading the news, recording my expenses, creating content and invariably, I step out into the backyard for a tramp's breakfast. A few nights ago, we finally got one of those crispy skies. Nine degrees. No wind, no clouds, no smoke, no moon, and the stars were dead still. No twinkle. In astronomy circles, it's called "good seeing". Just rising in the east was my favourite group of stars. An old friend whom I haven't seen since last winter.
Orion is probably the best known northern constellation once you have moved past the Big Dipper. Also called The Hunter, and serves as a powerful reminder of two things:
First is that the universe is in a constant state of flux, of creation and destruction. It is not static. It just seems that way from the eye-blink perspective of our transient existence. Stars, like us, are born, then live separate and distinct lives, grow old and die. Some quietly, some spectacularly. When you look at Orion, you are looking at an extended family portrait. On the left shoulder is the red-tinged brooding grandfather in his final years. Bloated and sickly, everyone around him, knows the end is near. Betelgeuse is a monster that, if placed in our solar system, would extend past the orbit of Mars. The other shoulder and two knees comprise Bellatrix, Saiph and Rigel. Rigel is also a supergiant, but he is only eight million years old. He is a raging hot and insanely luminescent teenager. One of the brightest stars in our sky. The belt stars are Alnitak, Alnilam & Mintaka. These six stars are of various sizes and ages on their main sequence somewhere between adolescence and old age. Below the belt is a vast region of gas and dust. To us, it is just a small fuzzy patch, but you could place our solar system end to end sixteen times across its width. This vast area is lit up by four raging brand new stars in their "terrible two" phase. Called the Trapezium, their UV light excites atoms into glowing across this vast area. Astronomers have detected 700 embryonic stars in that cloud. Can you imagine if, two billion years from now, intelligent life arises on a world circling one of those stars? What a night sky they will have! You might read a book by starlight? I will give you the second reason that Orion is important next week.
(Soon & Someday)
Do you have a million Optimum points right now? I am amazed at how rare that seems to be? Even if you don't use my lists and just save your points for a redemption event, you are halfway there? I was creeping towards two million, but I did waffle and use 150K for $175 off at Zehr's on Saturday. IBAT, so I'm scrimping this month.
So, as promised, here is part two of our Optimum Prime process review. Last week, we covered your Fridge List and our Prime List. Those two pieces handle the weekly drudgery of putting lunches in bags, supper on the table and Sunday dinner. That leaves your Soon List and your Someday List.
We try to anticipate your Soon List, and while there are small cultural differences, there is a similarity for everyone. It is the things you routinely keep in your pantry, fridge or freezer that have a finite shelf life. When they go on sale, you should probably buy some? Beef (roasts, steaks, hamburger), chicken (drumsticks, legs, breasts), pork (sausage, chops, roasts), potatoes, onions, carrots. That sort of thing. You mostly keep this list in your head, but when those items are highly incentivized, and you are running low, you will probably buy more. That is the basis of what I pick from the 500 items in flyers and offers each week. They try to tempt you with this "shiny thing" over here, but I try to stick with the 100 that are on almost everyone's list. Each Thursday morning, those go onto your Prime List.
Last is your Someday List. This is where it all pays off for just a few minutes of planning each week! These are non-perishables that you can (and should) keep in stock ... months in advance. Paper towels, dish soap, toilet paper, shampoo, garbage bags, cologne, Mr. Clean, Bounce, Windex, dry pasta, canned soup, Gatorade, peanut butter, canned vegetables, sauces, whew! It's a big list. I have a buddy (KD) who proudly told me he never pays full price for toilet paper or paper towels. I never pay anything! Not one dime. Nadda. Niente. It's like coming home from Costco with $800 worth of supplies. There's a guy thing going on there, perhaps? I first heard an old banking buddy (Sam M.) talk about it, years ago. I can provide for my family for many moons. It is all safely packed into my castle keep. I am ready for the zombie apocalypse. We have it all stocked up. If you are hungry, need to blow your nose or wipe your ass ... I got that covered. Maybe that's why when the pandemic started, the first thing grocery stores ran out of was toilet paper? The big difference is that with that Costco trip, you paid the $800.
So, in reverse order (which is how I think about them) ...
Someday: free non-perishables that you get with points
Soon getting low, move to Prime when they go on sale
Prime: best deals this week, combine with fridge list
Fridge: flashing red lights, gotta have it this week
It's our wits against those faceless minions in corporate office towers trying to make us pay full retail price for our groceries. It's all a big game. I hope you find value in these posts and continue to play along. Sign up a friend?
My Optimum Week
What can I say? We collected 60,000 points and redeemed 150,000. We won't need anything for a while. The store is offering my favorite cut of chicken at half price, and remember, blade roasts are just stewing beef that someone hasn't cut into pieces yet. Cut your own, make them whatever size you wish, and save two bucks a pound. Here is your list ....
Settlers Effects
I had a lot of fun doing my fall preserves while writing about pioneer days. The title (above) is still in use today. Back then, it was serious business. Canada wanted to settle the west and advertised in all the European newspapers. Free Land! After a long boat ride in steerage class, you got a train ride. That CP freight train stopped in the middle of Saskatchewan somewhere, and you got off with your family. You had paid your registration fee ($10) and were now the proud owner of your very own 160 acres. You had a couple of months of provisions, a stove, farm implements, some cookware, an axe, an ox and some seeds. If you were lucky, you had about eight months to find water, build some shelter and grow something to eat before the snow flies. If you got it wrong or had a stroke of bad luck, you starved that first winter. Hundreds of families did. People are amazing.
It's canning season, and last year's pickles were rock stars! If you want some, give me my frigging jars back! I know who you are (BL, RV, VE, KS, RC, AC, etc., etc.). I know where you live.
SWMBO will be happy to have the kitchen return to "normal," which is still a daily disaster under my purview. That is not the case during canning season. For a couple of weeks straight, it is some variation of this:
The final tally this year was:
20 x 1 liter garlic dill pickles
11 x 1 liter hot garlic dill pickles
6 x 1 liter blended tomato sauce
6 x 1 liter hot chunky tomato sauce
5 x 500 mL mild cucumber relish
12 x 500 mL hot ajvar
7 x 750 mL hot pickled carrots
6 x 500 mL suicide pineapple cucumber relish
4 lbs scratch coleslaw (thanks KS for Aunt Glady's recipe)
I'm committed to playing 20 rounds of golf before the clocks change to get the weight back off I gained standing in the kitchen for the last three weeks!
What I'm Reading
Fritz Leiber
Clifford D. Simak
We Are Watching
Formula One on TSN - The boys are back from summer break. SWMBO has not mellowed in her disdain for Max Verstappen. She doesn't want him to lose. She wants him trapped in twisted wreckage, then burned alive. Preferably on camera. He (of course) won last week.
We are working through various seasons of Invasion, The Americans, The Morning Show & Blood In the Wire while waiting impatiently for new stuff from Landman and Slow Horses.
... and finally
Our Fridge List has one non-negotiable item for whenever I leave the house. That's a Tim's extra large, two cream, three sugars. Don't come home without one. So, the other day, I note they have added butter tarts to the menu. I grab her one. Brownie points right? (Well, actually butter tart points, but you get my drift). She has two bites and leaves the rest in the Tim's bag ... for later? WTF? Who does that? Then the bag sits on the table in front of me all afternoon. After supper, I give her a little nudge; "don't forget your butter tart." So now, what invariably happens the next day ... she rediscovers her treat. "Oh, it's gone stale," she laments ... and throws it out. Who the f#*& throws out butter tarts?? She won't even look in the bag. Wait a minute?
Mitch & Maddie