Optimum Prime

The Near Death Experience

Once upon a time, you could put a bank data centre on the eighth floor of an office tower. You needed access to the roof; you needed some extra water, some extra power, but it was doable. You'd have a couple of mainframes, an extensive tape library (reels,

We Live in a Paradise

Our title this week is a recurring theme in my newsletters. Not because I think my life is better than any of my readers. Not even close. This is not an "I ended end up driving a Maserati in Monte Carlo" story ... but it does have a happy

Dumb and Dumber

Every once in a while, our premier does something silly, but politically expedient.  Banning speed cameras is dumb. Yes, there were problems with the program.  One of my former bosses (KH) posted this idea in Facebook, so down the rabbit hole I run. What were the problems and what created

Malicious Compliance

The government in Alberta is nothing if not entertaining. This creates countless opportunities for hilarity. Jason Kenney, the last premier, established the Citizen's Initiative Act and the Recall Act. Someone might have told him that CIA was taken? In both cases, it became easier for voters to generate

Let's Go

Welcome back to Optimum Prime. Happy New Year! It is my fervent hope that the weeks and months ahead will bring you wonder, revelation, gigantic radishes from your garden ... and the occasional belly laugh. I will try to do my part. Hey brother, can you spare a stadium? Ok, here&

A (time sensitive) Quickie

Hopefully, Santa didn't find out the truth about you ... so you still got a good haul at Christmas? Also, you may have been on that lying bitch in the bathroom and have come to realize the scale (get it?) of your indiscretions at the dessert table! So I

Pick Your Poison

I am pretty well versed in U.S. and Canadian politics. For that, I probably need to thank Johnny Carson and Andy Donato. Carson would do a joke in his monologue about some obscure U.S. politician, and I would wonder what he was talking about. Donato would do an

Fresh Blood

We have a bunch of new subscribers this week, so we thought it might be appropriate to back up and review what we are trying to accomplish with this newsletter. Women suck at grocery shopping. Yaaa, I said it! After paying close attention since the spring of 2022, it'

Chicken Little

With the discovery of the fish and chip batter mix from Bulk Barn, we have been really enjoying Fish Fridays for the last couple of years. For those of you who might not know, a mythical carpenter had a bad day on a Friday, and people remember the cross he

Fight Club

So, the big news around here is we bought a car. Oh wait, who cares? It's a car. The really big news is we got Maddie a little brother! A final determination as to the name, has not yet been made. My excellent suggestion is facing resistance, and

The Sweet Spot

Does your Optimum dashboard have these sorts of numbers? ... and while that might seem pretty good, the reality is when I retired in the spring of 2022; I had just over a million points for the preceding five years. A result that I suspect is common among Optimum cardholders. Since

Health Nuts

They surround us. The governments of Alberta and Florida are great examples of administrations that spout garbage about vaccines and lockdowns. For the record, Florida had double the mortality rate when compared to Canada. Remember the videos of them crowded in the bars having a great time when the rest

The New Colossus

I think it is fair to say that Canada (i.e. the Liberals) has made some mistakes with our immigration policy over the last few years. It's a delicate subject to tackle without sounding like a racist. Like I care how I sound. In Ontario, it seems that

One Last Kick at the Can?

So, I'm probably going to purchase one more new (er) car. I know I keep saying each motorcycle is the last, but that has been a relatively inexpensive indulgence. The bikes I buy are old and cheap, just like me. I only have to pay the sales tax,

Summer Breeze

My Great Aunt Gladys owned and ruled (with an iron fist) a family restaurant called the K&W in Minden. I lived up north with her the summers I was fourteen then fifteen and worked for her in the restaurant. It's all a little hazy now, but

I'll Be Back

Hang around with me long enough and the weather will come up. I think it's a senior thing. I didn't give a shit when I was twenty. I put on my jean jacket and went out. Might be pouring rain, might be eighty and sunny, might

Yeeeerrrrr OUT!

One of my best friends asked me about the Three Strikes law being proposed by newly re-installed leader of the loyal opposition. Wouldn't that be a good thing to support? Three strikes (serious crimes) and you "come out (of prison) in a box" to invoke Conservative

A Bad Scene

Apologies in advance for going on and on this week. Get a coffee. As you know, we look at the competing flyers each week, and I would be the first to stand on a soapbox and say that Zehr's does not always have the best prices. I would

Caution: Amphibian Crossing

My first experience with the concept of gerrymandering came in 1972 at the tender age of 15. They built a new high school north of my childhood home, and my sister was going to attend it the following year. I had already completed grades 9 and 10 at Stephen Leacock

Subtitles

Other than a couple of obscure references in Job, and one notably bright star leading three wise men to a manger, both the Hebrew and the Christian Bibles spend very little time naming any stars. I promised last week to suggest the 2nd reason the constellation Orion is important. Here&

Bettlejuice Beetlejuice sept 11

My dad and his buddy Doug had this running joke they would use when the wives were nearby. "Tramp's Breakfast this morning, Doug. Really? Wha'd ya have? A piss and look around", he would answer. They'd laugh like four-year-olds while their wives

Nothing's Changed

Groceries were fun last week? If you followed our list, you spent $500, got $600 worth of stuff and got back 100K in points. That's 33% right across the board. Walmart is not beating that. Giant Tiger is not beating that. As most of us know, you do

What A Maroon

I really felt like that last week about ten seconds after I hit the "publish" button on my Ghost site. They say if you want to be a writer, write ... all the time. So I do. This blog, Letters to the Editor, an outline for a book, I&

Surprise, I'm Early

If I wake up anytime early on a Wednesday, I get up. I've usually had about five hours at that point, so I take a break (from sleeping) and shop the flyers. They all come out just after midnight. This is just a quick callout as Zehr'

Fourth Time, Unlucky

With all due deference to Terry Bollea and John Osbourne, this month's version of "A Life Well Lived" goes to John Lovell. Born in Cleveland in 1928, his father, a salesman for a coal furnace company, died when he was still a child.  This forced a