Gaming the System
My buddies had admonished me against discussing the Optimum Program at my local watering hole. I understand. If someone is a bird watcher, you don't want to hear about their latest ruffled grouse sighting every time you stop for a beer. The other day, in a loud clear voice, someone asked me how it works. Eye roll from the table. I was about ten seconds into my detailed explanation when his eyes lit up and he stopped me! "You are gaming the system? They don't want you to combine points offers with stuff that is on sale .... and you sell that to people" He's a quick study. I continue to maintain that old school home economics, combined with the Optimum Program, gives the lowest possible grocery prices. Last week, I recommended shopping at Food Basics. Doing that sacrifices ... the Zehr's sale prices, 10% to 15% in Optimum points and another 50% on that in Bonus Redemption credit. That does not happen very often. What I used to identify those opportunities is a newer App called FLIPP. Reading flyers online has always been difficult. Remember that the newspaper industry created flyers. Anyone remember getting the monstrous Saturday Toronto Star? Of course you don't, I am a dinosaur. That flyer format does not translate very well to computer screens. It doesn't translate at all to smart phones. One option is to get a gigantic wrap around monitor. They have come way down in price! If someone knows how I sneak one of these monsters onto my kitchen table without SWMBO noticing, I will be forever in your debt. I'm thinking about hypnosis? Obviously, FLIPP uses AI to display and search through flyers from all the major chains. Each week, some portion of your grocery selections drives most of your grocery costs. Do you need to stock up on canned pop? Needs steaks for the summer BBQ season? If you know what you are looking for, FLIPP is magic. Check it out:
Get a little, give a little. I was over at my Zehr's to pick up an Express order and prowl for some sketchy meat. I was catching up with a buddy who works there. He was applying that 50% sticker to a nasty-looking sirloin tip roast. It has lost all semblance of life and had that grey dishwater pallor. The way Tom Cruise looked in his spot at the start of the Super Bowl? I said; "Give it up Ken. You can't give that thing away". He laughed and agreed. He then remarked; "Probably the most tender cut of meat in the store right now, and I will have to pitch it" He is a butcher. Hmm. The Zehr's flyer was just OK and not much happening in the Offer department. They did combine American cereal with Nielson milk to try and sell me the shit, but I am not fooled. They are also still trying to selling that trainload of Spam of they bought, again, no deal. Shoppers on the other hand has one of their better Offers. Take your clicker, spend $60, get 20K in points. Here's your list:
Toenail Henge
Sometimes the urge to create art supplants your normal tendency to complete mundane domestic tasks (groceries, dishes). SWMBO had asked that I clean up a little mess that I left on the credenza. I had some cheese left over after making a scratch Filet-O-Fish with battered pickerel, suicide sriracha mayo and lettuce on a whole wheat English muffin. Two hours later, I had the diorama built. Filmed it. Learned how to load video to Ghost. Found out that Ghost doesn't like .mov files. Researched and loaded a free video file converter. Converted the file to .mp4 format. Found out that Ghost doesn't like large .mp4 files. Converted to .webm format. Uploaded the video. I was going to put it to Zarathustra from the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey, but who has that kind of time?
Fasten Your Emotional Seatbelts
Most of us use the toilet in the traditional way, with our backs to the tank. However, some people choose to sit facing forward. This habit may seem different, but it’s more popular than you might think. There are some significant reasons you might try this next bathroom reno:
• People with chronic pain find this posture more convenient
• It lessens pressure on your spine and is easier on the knees
• It lowers the risk of a fall as you can hold the tank
• It lessens the effort required to eject the turd
• This position facilitates emptying the bladder completely
• Less contact with the bowl. Think Chucky Cheese after eight birthday parties?
• You can put the toilet in a smaller space. Way smaller. Think hall closet.
• Toilet paper holder is eliminated. Place it one the tank. Leaves room for art?
• You have a built-in place to rest your book, or the newspaper, or your breakfast?
• Behind the toilet might become a great place to hang a small TV? Anyone?
... and finally
New fridge was delivered. It fit perfectly into the existing hole I had cut into the bedroom wall the last time I bought a fridge. In 2006. I mean, after I got out the Sawzall. A metal, blade. A course wood blade. A hammer. A chisel. A small lining bar. A large crowbar. Flashlight. Broom. Dustpan. Shopvac.
Mitch & Maddie