Let's Go

Welcome back to Optimum Prime. Happy New Year! It is my fervent hope that the weeks and months ahead will bring you wonder, revelation, gigantic radishes from your garden ... and the occasional belly laugh. I will try to do my part.

Hey brother, can you spare a stadium?

Ok, here's a thought. How can the World Cup go ahead on U.S. soil? Venezuelan athletes are going to present themselves as potential hostages at U.S. airports? Columbians? Black or brown Danish soccer players? Black or brown Canadian soccer players? Mexicans? Cubans? Iranians? Trump has threatened the sovereignty of these seven counties over the last few weeks and has actually invaded one of them. If they boycotted, what counties might decide to join them in solidarity? My guess is lots of them? I think FIFA does just fine without support from the U.S.A. Not too many sports can say that. If I were them, I would put out the word that they are looking for potential backup venues? I'm pretty sure the seven counties listed, could put on quite a show? Or just call someone. Spain has stadiums?

This Is Not Over

This site will continue to push for a boycott of U.S. products. This "elbows up" fight continues. Carney has not forgotten. My suspicion is that he is playing the long game on the F35 deal. He knows a cancellation will force Trump to lower the boom and is waiting for the CUSMA deal to be settled or scuttled. Based on the moronic comments from Pete Hoekstra (U.S. ambassador to Canada), it is pretty easy to guess that these men understand nothing ... about being men. He wonders aloud why Canadians don't want to travel to the U.S. or buy Jack Daniels, or kneel and service a despot (as he has done again and again). I can't believe that they have any plans to deal with us (or Mexico) in good faith. Carney is off to China soon. I'd be asking if they would like to purchase an empty Ford, GM or Stellantis plant in Ontario? I hear they just became the number one electric car builder in the world. I think they are pretty good at pipelines too?

Win Some, Lose Some

I was disappointed to see a buddy purchase a fully U.S. manufactured new vehicle. This is a person whom I would consider a loyal Canadian. He might even refrain from buying a bag of clearly marked U.S. grown avocados. But for the really big purchase, the one where you could have actually hurt them ... well, he wanted the manly two-tone interior, the lift package with the big rims and the Alaskan wilderness motif. I'm not sure how small his cock actually is? He's one of those weirdos who removes the seats to vacuum his interior, so I suppose it was a bridge too far? This site will continue to comment on U.S. and global politics from my Canadian perspective. I will try not to be crazy about it. I mean, Christ, if you need a rye and Coke after work tomorrow, go get a case of Coke. But if you have the opportunity to poke that bloated pig in the eye, please take it. Bread, not circuses. More next week on that front.

House Staging

For years, realtors have employed little hacks like getting Molly Maid in to scrape the grime out of the tile grout. Then they might pick up some apple cinnamon Glade plug-ins? We used to fall for pretty much anything. Not these days. They use third-party companies that come in make it look like someone with actual taste lived there.

Grand pianos, numbered prints, Egyptian cotton and throw pillows that cost more than dinner for two at the Keg are the norm now. So SWMBO is hiding the horror that is our bathroom vanity to prepare for my sister's annual visit. She believes that my deceased mother's disdain for any partner I might have been lucky enough to attract ... was transferred from one generation to the next, like some desert Reverend Mother ceremony. As a result, she was warning me to hide (or lose forever) those unspeakable bathroom items like toothpaste, deodorant, cologne. I am considering a business venture where I offer a reverse staging service for husbands who find this practice a colossal waste of time. It would come in a small box with a flip top lid for quick access. While she is greeting her boss, your boss, her family, your family, the neighbors (fill in the blank) at the front door, you slip into the bathroom and quickly empty the box into your vanity. It would include time honoured classics like grape flavoured lube, a big tub of Vaseline (in case you were feeling old school), packets of clearly labeled Anal Bleach, gender reassignment hormones and faux anti-psychotic prescription drug bottles. The bonus kit would include mousetraps complete with replica rotting corpses, ant houses and a gigantic rat trap complete with a faux chicken wing loaded as bait. These go under the sink. Her boss's wife will have that thousand-yard stare the first time she returns from the powder room. Well worth the low, low price of 29.95 I plan to charge. Look for it soon on Amazon.

Our Optimum Week

It was very quiet on the home front. I saw the pictures. You all had crowds of guests, wonderful meals, and the weather even cooperated a bit, except on Boxing Day. Our new puppy has had some early health issues, so Christmas was a somber affair at home, with a few tears and some close support of our newest family member. I believe we are now headed in the right direction, and the vet was reservedly optimistic when I had Milo there on Monday. As I write this, he and Maddie are zooming back and forth across the kitchen floor behind me. It's a Christmas sound that, to us, is sweeter than any Bing Crosby classic!

Redemption at Shoppers. Zehr's did not bring their A game to the flyer. Whole chicken is on but not the low, low price. Russet potatoes for $3, not bad, not crazy good either. I gave you the hits, but go easy? Next week, they will step up their game. Here is your list:

What I'm Reading

Three-Body Problem - SWMBO bought me the set.

We Are Watching

Wrapped up Landman (Season Two), Pluribus (Season One) and the Mayor of Kingstown (Season Three). Renner is getting old. Stop helping your friends, Jeremy!

...and finally

Years ago, a buddy (CO) suggested I buy my windshield washer fluid by the case, on sale, long before the snow flies. It just makes sense. You get the good stuff, it won't go bad. You can fill up on a nice sunny day in your driveway instead of on the side of the road, in the dark, in some diagonal freezing rain event. So, I am on the 400 headed north to sell our ice hut and snowmobile ... the roads are shit. I pull off at the ONroute just south of Barrie, get a coffee, breakfast, fill up the car and wonder if I have enough windshield washer fluid. Of course, my case of RainX High Performance -50 Premium Ice Block (bought on sale for $18) is happily sitting in my basement. I pop into the kiosk and ask for a jug of the watered down purple crap they sell. "Did you get it off the stand outside, sir? I have warmed ones in here so you don't freeze your hands filling up." Oh, how so very thoughtful of you, I think to myself. "That'll be $8.75 plus tax". WHAT? She laughs and points to the traffic whizzing by behind her ... "They don't call it highway robbery for nothing. " It was almost worth the extra five bucks it cost me for the belly laugh. Almost.

Mitch & Maddie