Sparks Joy

I'm dieting. I saw this ad on Facebook for an app called Simple with a bunch of testimonials and clicked on the trial. The app is well named. No calorie counting, in-depth analysis, pee in a bottle crap. It's an intermittent fasting tracker with a pretty slick AI coach. I just wish it wasn't so nice. "What did you eat?" I record a half a bag of Lays, with onion dip, a handful of chocolate-covered pistachios and a vanilla shake. It says: "Peanuts are an excellent source of protein. You may wish to add a green vegetable to your snack to lessen its impact on your blood sugar." No shit, Sherlock. Anyway, it's working. About 09:30 every morning, it tells me to eat something. At 5:30 it says stop. During the day, it bugs me to drink something. I record a beer at noon. A beer at 12:30. A beer at 1. A beer at 1:30, then a nap. It congratulates me on staying hydrated and taking time to keep rested. Hey, for $99 USD, if it's happy, I'm happy.

Five Years

I heard telephones, opera house, favourite melodies
I saw boys, toys, electric irons and T.V.'s
My brain hurt like a warehouse
It had no room to spare
I had to cram so many things
Everything is in there

This is really a spot about Marie Kondo, not David Bowie but five years ago it felt, for just a moment, like the world was ending. Empty streets, closed schools, and mobbed emergency wards were the order of the day. Into that world comes this slip of a girl who seems an overnight sensation. She actually wrote her first best seller way back in 2011, but it all clicked when COVID gave everyone an excuse to declutter their homes. I have two decluttering stories for you this week:

I would guess, I have owned, a couple of thousand books over the course of fifty years. My rule since getting bookshelves in 2004 (more in 2010, more in 2021) was, will I ever read this again? If the answer was yes, it went on the shelf. Thanks to Marie, there is a new morbid calculation I need to do. Can I ever read this again? Will there be time? I am reading two books a month. If I live to ninety, that's 500 more books before the big dirt nap. I own double that, not counting non-fiction. Something has got to give. The math is fairly simple. Next year, I can have 475 books less however many I have bought. The year after, 450. More on that strategy next week.

My second story is actually the morbid one. As you all read last week, we got SWMBO a dishwasher. To do this, we had to remove a complete 27" cabinet from my kitchen. It had cutlery, olive oil, my stand mixer, garbage bags, Lysol toilet cleaner and two gigantic garbage cans in it. Garbage cans went where my cleaning products were. The stand mixer displaced my Corning ware. The cutlery displaced the utensil drawer. You can see where this is going ... right? My kitchen was jammed before I started! Something had to give. I had a Marie Kondo moment with a springform pan yesterday. I have not used it in twenty years? Then, I was cradling a gravy boat trying to decide if it still SPARKED JOY for me? Which of my seven "favourite" chef knives do I want to keep handy? It's more stressful than gutting my book collection! Can any real man live without four mandolins? Two for playing, two for slicing onions? Kill me now.

My Optimum Week

Well, I hope you all had 500,000 points and got $900 of free non-perishables last week. I'm over a million points again but couldn't pull the trigger as my new pantry (see above) is still in the final stages of construction and I have no room. Next Bonus Redemption, I am in! Great flyer this week. Stock your freezer with some easy meals and buy some olive oil. Also, I buy non-perishables if not within a Bonus Redemption event, but the member pricing on Cashmere and Scottie stuff is pretty amazing. Continuity at $350 which is a little rich for my blood. If you have a couple of teenagers at home, probably not that hard? Here is your list:

What I'm Reading

Finished the Revelation Space Trilogy. Over my head, not for me.

Read the second half of Shogun again. Second half? One of the five best books ever written in my humble opinion. It is tokimeku for me for me and it's time for a new copy. This (my third ... see feature image) is literally in pieces.

The biggest movie next year will be Project Hail Mary. Well, maybe not, but I just read the book (again), the trailers are out and it looks fantastic! A rollicking space adventure, in epic scale with a big dollop of comedy. I'm thinking a Star Wars, or E.T. level of buzz. Read the book (or borrow mine) if you get the chance.

What We're Watching

We finished the last season (three) of Hightown. I recommend it, but Season Two was the high water mark. Apparently, they are having a lot of lesbian sex in Provincetown? Who knew?

We started The Morning Show. Jennifer Aniston could read the phonebook and have my attention, but Steve Carell never did it for me. I don't hate him. Not like my skin crawls when Ben Stiller or Owen Wilson show up? This show is poignant and funny. Billy Crudup and Reese Witherspoon ask the serious questions. Jennifer and cast deliver comedic timing. I must say, seeing Martin Short in a serious cameo, as a nuanced psychopathic predator, was disturbing. I'm glad he mostly does comedy. Starting Season 2.

The Amateur on Netflix. Remy Malik is the most unlikely looking 007 you can imagine, and that's the rub. He has skills, just not the requisite killer instinct to avenge his wife according to the cliche. What he does, before our very eyes, is move from grief, to blackmail, to avenging nerd. Worth your time, four stars.

... and finally

It takes a lot to get me excited about a new vinaigrette recipe, but I saw this, tried it and was bowled over. Iceberg lettuce, bean sprouts, grated carrot, red onion & rustic croutons. Toss it in this:

• in a medium saucepan, heat 1/2 cup of good olive oil
• add two medium shallots, peeled and split longitudinally
• bubbly bubbly gently gently ... for a couple of minutes
• add one large peeled and scrunched (not chopped) clove of garlic
• continue the gentle deep fry until you have golden brown edges
• remove from heat and rest for 15 minutes
• add two ounces of red wine vinegar, one tablespoon dijon mustard
• a little shot of salt, a large shot of pepper, an ounce of honey
• blend and refrigerate

Chef Erin Morely goes on our Christmas card list for this one!

Mitch & Maddie

Here is the video link in case you (not MG) want to follow her ... https://www.tiktok.com/@chef.erinmorley/video/7519837528594206007?_t=ZM-8xcCsveyWQw&_r=1