The Murse

There's not a homophobic bone in my body. I mean, Adam Lambert makes my skin crawl, but he does that to everybody? Not that I haven't taken every opportunity to tease the man bun, the fanny pack or Capri pants (NS). You simply cannot let that shit slide. So, it was with some trepidation that I purchased a man purse. This has been driven by five age factors:
1) First, and most importantly, I don't give crap what people think.
2) When I worked at CP Rail, and then the bank, I proudly carried about 43 keys or the equivalent in security passes. The bank was never foolish enough to let me near money, but I could go places!. Now, I carry one key ... for the house. One key FOB ... for the car. You might think that I would not need to spend a considerable portion of each day looking for them? Not so much.
3) My phone is an Apple iPhone X Pro Max. It is the size of a cutting board and weighs three pounds. When I carry it in the pocket of my comfortable pants and walk, it pulls them down. Not a good look at Giant Tiger and my underwear collection is not suitable for public consumption.
4) Wallet. I cannot abide sitting on one. In the car, in the bar, on the bike, I do not like. It hurts my piriformis and ischail tuberosities. (suckers) You'd think with my fat ass it wouldn't .. but there it is. One of my best friends still carries one of those billfold monsters that has business cards and receipts from the nineties. It looks like the Gutenberg Bible when he unfolds it in the bar. I now have one of those sexy Ridgeline things. When I got it, SWMBO said, "TELL ME YOU DIDN'T PAY A HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR THAT THING?" Honesty is the hill I die upon! "No, Honey, I did not!"

So, one key, one fob, one wallet one phone. Sounds like a George Thorogood song? I had sixty years of observing female sins in the purse department, so I had some idea of the pitfalls to avoid. There are rules that have to be followed. Manly rules. At various times, I have asked the woman in my life to carry in their purse; a cold beer, my keys, my wallet, a tooth, a snowmobile carburetor, half an assorted sub. If you don't want that, then don't carry some butt ugly monstrosity that looks like you are going to the beach? Your purse, (murse in my case), needs to be just big enough to hold my four things and not a square inch more. A buddy says; "Hey I just hawked this beauty out of my nose and I want to play with it on the drive home? Can you put it in your murse? Its; "Sorry pal, no room at the inn.' The Indian kid at Home Depot comes up with a clipboard and says, "Would you like a coupon for 50% off charcoal until the end of time? "Sorry Habib, won't fit in my murse. Laugh if you will, but I am content. The wallet was $139. Plus tax. Plus shipping. Oh, I think that was USD as well.

Lunar Eclipse Recap

Sorry about the typo in my Blood Moon post on Tuesday morning. My site hollered at me and said FINAL REVIEW DUMMY ... are you sure you want to publish this with a blatant spelling mistake? I love you guys, but Maddie and Milo were both sleeping, the hot tub was open, I had SWMBO's last three ounces of Baileys in a large coffee and a lit cigar. I figured you could live with a typo from my hastily constructed missive. Here is a little drawing of what I was trying to explain:

Our Optimum Week

SWMBO liked those Schneiders sausages that were in last weeks' lap! Who knew? I did a small Costco run (Charmin & Bounty) which I will split over two months in my tracing. I am still in full conservation mode, but it's pretty much "spare no expense" when it comes to SWMBO's undercarriage. The flyer was nearly a complete miss this week. You really had to pick through it carefully. Ground beef for $13 a pound? "Oh, you shouldn't have" A small bag of veggie chips ... six bucks? "Be still, my beating heart" Here are the deals that are worth your attention:

From the Offer standpoint, there was a weird one? Open the app (I assume on your phone) after March 5th and get at least 10,000 points. Apparently, you don't have to buy anything? I don't know what they get out of me opening their app, but hopefully, all 17 million card holders do that ... and shop at Food Basics this week. This sort of silliness needs to be tamped down mercilessly. If anyone, gets the points without buying anything or gets more than the 10K promised ... let me know?

I Am Reading

IFK rescued me last week and talked me through some of the worst deficiencies in my MacBook conversion efforts. When Google came out with Chrome, I thought that Chrome was a better, smarter Google! All shiny, you know? After beating my head against the kitchen table for twenty minutes, he started to break through. I think it goes like this ...

1. Google is a search engine
2. When you load Google on your new MacBook, it can use Google to search
3. When you use Google to search, Safari is still the browser
4. Your results come back to your Google window, but went out on Safari
5. When approaching the Internet, you are just staring down into the pot of Alphabets soup. Billions of jumbled letters. If you want "G" or "bus schedule" out of soup that is the Internet, your search engine sorts through the mess and says; "it's right there, you moron ... I organized it and put it right under your spoon"
6. Your browser is the spoon that dips into the soup and pulls out your data. It will also keep track of the town you might live in and what language you speak. If you tell it to, it might keep that site for when you need it later? Hint.
7. If you load Google Chrome on your new MacBook, you will find your bookmarks! Google (the search engine) doesn't care about your bookmarks. Google Chrome, the browser, knows all of your secrets.

Now, just in case you are feeling foolish (or superior) ... BackRub was a 1996 research project that needed a name. The developers wanted Googol which is a very large number. It is a 1 followed by one hundred zeros. The future billionaires wanted to suggest the scope of their searching power. Some lacky, (not a future billionaire or a math major) thought it was spelled Google. The owners liked it and it stuck. They had a winner and did not want to get sucked into the raging browser wars that were going on at the turn of the century. They stayed on the sidelines as long as they could. After six years of resistance (resistance is futile), the CEO agreed to release a browser which they already had a piece of. They named it Chrome. So Google had Google, and they had Google Chrome. In 2015, they needed to separate the business lines, so they renamed the company Alphabet. I believe that's where my buddy got the soup analogy?? I'm glad I could clear that up for you.

We Are Watching

The Leafs in their post Olympic run to squeak into the playoffs. They came out of the gate and promptly lost four straight. From being a game away from the Eastern Conference final last year, to a total playoff whiff this year. It's over. The only dramatic difference in the lineup that I can detect? Marner is gone. I guess he was worth twelve million.

We circled back and binged the first season of True Detective over the weekend. Slow in places, it doesn't matter. Harrelson and McConaughey are magic together. One boob flash launched small role supporting actress (Alexandra D'Addario) into international stardom. Spectacular. The boobs and the show. I mean, all three of them. Four stars.

This launched us into Season 4 (True Detective: Night Country) which was on my list because of the lead by Jodie Foster. If you liked Mare of Kingstown, you will like this. Same role. Same crusty lead detective, consigned to the backwaters and handed an impossible case. Except for some unnecessary jump scares, pretty good stuff. Three stars.

I will reserve my disdain for Season 4 of Bridgerton until another time.

Mitch & Maddie

Bonus material courtesy of Chrome.

I will always tell you when (or if) I use AI content for this blog. AI was obviously willing to carry "the spoon" analogy further if pushed, so with just a few nudges, I got all of this. It gave me a chuckle. Here is what AI thinks about the various browser options within the flatware world:

1. Chrome is a heavy-duty spoon from Google. It is popular, fat, sturdy and fits in every bowl. It reports back to Mama what bites you take, what soup you like, and how it tasted? Mama sells storage, so it also uses up lots of space in your cutlery drawer.
2. Safari is a silver spoon that comes "free" with your very expensive Apple dinner set. It is unbelievably light and won’t tire out your wrist. It refuses to work if you decide to eat your soup on a Windows-branded table.
3. Edge used to be a rusty spork (Internet Explorer), from Microsoft. It constantly begs you to stop using other spoons and is great for the office, even if it won't let you order ammo for your AK-47.
4. Firefox is a hand-carved spoon from Mozilla . It’s made by Birkenstock wearing non-profit types. You can sand it down, paint it, or add specialized grips (extensions). It genuinely doesn't care who you are or what calibre of ammunition you need for those pesky industrialists.